Love and Life

Sometimes in our relentless effort to find the person we love, we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns.

Go for the man/woman of deeds and not for the man/woman of words, for you will find rewarding happiness, not with the man/woman you love but with the man/woman who loves you more.

The best lovers are those capable of loving from a distance far enough to allow the person to grow but never too far to feel the love within your being.

To let go of someone doesn’t mean you have to stop loving; it only means that you allow that person to find his/her own happiness without expecting him/her to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but is also setting yourself free from all the bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart. Do not let the bitterness take away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you; but rather let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it.

You may find peace in loving someone from a distance not expecting something in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past, but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today.

There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer, but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. You don’t have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving.

Don’t let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well.Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. If you lose love, that doesn’t mean you failed in love.

Cry if you have to, but make sure that tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.

There are two ways to live your life: One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.There is no mistake so painful that love cannot forgive, no past so bitter that love cannot accept, and no love so little that we cannot start all over with.

What I've Learned

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.
I’ve learned that no matter how much I care,
some people just don’t care back.
I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust
and only seconds to destroy it.
I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts.
I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself
to the best others can do,
but to the best you can do.
I’ve learned that it’s not what happens to people,
It’s what they do about it.
I’ve learned that no matter how thin you slide it,
there are always two sides.
I’ve learned that you should always have loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you’ll see them.
I’ve learned that you can keep going
long after you think you can’t.

I’ve learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done
When it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.
I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don’t know how to show it.
I’ve learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to
doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is,
they’re going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.
I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken,
the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other.
And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned that sometimes you have to put the individual
ahead of their actions.
I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.
I’ve learned that no matter the consequences,
those who are honest with themselves go farther in life.
I’ve learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don’t even know you.
I’ve learned that even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned that writing,
as well as talking,
can ease emotional pains.
I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life
are taken from you too soon.
I’ve learned that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice
and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.
I’ve learned to love
and be loved.
I’ve learned…

Lover Advice For Each Of Us

No matter what your love life is like I think these are some great things to remember.

To those who are…. single
Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it. Love can make you happy but often it hurts, but love’s only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it. So take your time and choose the best.

To those who are…. no so single/in a relationship
Love isn’t about becoming somebody else’s “perfect person”. It’s about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

To those who are…. playboy/girl type
Never say “I love you” if you don’t care. Never talk about feelings if they aren’t there. Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart. Never look in the eye when all you do is lie. The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn’t intend to catch her fall and vice versa…

To those who are…. married
 Love is not about “it’s your fault”, but it’s about “I’m sorry”. Not about “where are you”, but “I’m right here”. Not “how could you” but “I understand”. Not “I wish you were here” but “I’m thankful you are”.

To those who are…. engaged
The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but how good you are for each other.

To those who are…. heartbroken
Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks, but to learn from them.

To those who are…. naive
How to be in love: Fall but don’t stumble, be consistent but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, and get hurt but never keep the pain.

To those who are…. possessive
It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else, but it’s more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

To those who are…. afraid to confess
Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.

To those who are…. still holding on
 A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love, only to find out in the end it was never meant to be and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn’t worth it. If he/she isn’t worth it now, he/she’s not going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now. Let go.

How do you know if a guy's really ready to commit

1) Don't Ever Convince: You don't ever be the one who is "carrying" the relationship or trying to convince him to want something else/more with you. Doing this is one of the most dangerous TRAPS women fall into with men and relationships. If you avoid ever being the one who's trying to lead and move things towards a real commitment, then you'll never have to guess if the man in your life is genuinely interested, ready and personally devoted and inspired.

2) Give Him His Freedom/Make Sure It's His Idea Too: You tell him what you want, but you don't demand it from him. A man can't and won't commit for the long term just because a woman gave him an ultimatum. It also has to be HIS IDEA. By letting a man know that you want/expect a committed relationship if you're going to spend time and really open up and share yourself with a man, but that he has the FREEDOM to say and feel how he really feels... you leave space for a man to make his own choice and commit himself to you. This is the important process of a man becoming DEVOTED to a woman, and if you don't leave space to know how he feels and for him to come towards you and ask for and want a commitment, he won't become devoted to you in the same lasting and bonded way.

3) You Listen to Him: A man will generally let you know if he wants to be with just you by his actions, and how often he wants to spend time with you. If he wants to spend most of his free time with you, and looks to make plans with you 3-4 times a week or more, he's probably thinking "commitment" with you. But too many women spend time with a man Physically and Socially 2 or less times a week and think that this time and intimacy means that he must want more. Most men could do on "casually" dating a woman, or several women, for months at a time and never spend more than 1 night or so a week with them, and never think about or want a more serious relationship to come of it.

Also, lots of women don't listen to what a man has said about what he wants and where he's at in his love life. If a man said to you when you started dating "I'm not really looking for a relationship right now", but you're spending all your time together, it doesn't mean that he's changed his mind and wants a long-term commitment or marriage now.

Five signs your date is into you and five signs he isn't.

 He's into you if....

1. He closes the distance: “First and foremost, moving in closer indicates a desire for more intimate contact,” Hartley says. So if a guy you’re talking to at a party inches a little closer as you talk, or your date slides into the same side of the booth as you, you know he wants to get to know you better—and not as a friend.

2. He speaks softly

When a man talks in a quieter voice, it’s an excellent sign, Hartley explains. “He’s indicating that what he’s saying is for your ears only,” he says. “If he’s telling you something private or secret, it’s a good thing—guys don’t do that to women they’re not into.” If you want to let that soft-talker know you feel the same way, respond in kind, which should quickly turn those sparks into an all-out fire. Caveat: If you’re in a loud bar or restaurant, where you have to shout to be heard, you can’t tell anything by his decibel level. So wait until you’re walking or driving home to see whether he’s turned the volume down.

3. He rounds his posture

Hypermasculine body language (think: swaggering walk, standing tall with shoulders back and chin up, etc.) serves to attract women from a distance. But when a guy is talking close-up with a woman he likes, he will soften, or “round” his body language, Hartley notes. If your guy’s squared shoulders cave in when he’s chatting with you, he’s indicating that he feels comfortable and secure in your presence.

4. He talks slowwwly

Like birds in a mating dance, men typically talk more slowly and softly when they are attracted to someone, Hartley explains. Of course, if he knocked back a few gigante lattes on a first date, he may be too wired (and nervous) to sound like Barry White, but give it time: If his speech starts to make you feel sleepy, he’s a goner.

5. He can’t take his eyes off you (in a good way)

So his eyes are locked on yours? As long as it isn’t a psycho stare, but rather a lingering, heavy-lidded, “Wow, you’re amazing” gaze, that guy is digging you big-time, Harley says. 

He's isn’t into you

1. He’s four feet away

If his motto may as well be The Police’s “Don’t Stand So Close to Me”, he’s not feelin’ you romantically, Hartley says. How do you define “distance”? “If he remains four feet or more away from you, it is a clear signal that his heart’s not in it,” says Hartley.

2. He stands at an oblique angle facing you

“Most men do not realize that when talking to another man, we stand at oblique angles, with one shoulder facing the other’s face, yet when we talk to women — especially ones we’re interested in romantically — we stand face-to-face with them,” Hartley says. If your guy’s shoulder is pointing in the direction of your face during conversation, he’s subconsciously showing disinterest or is trying to turn you off, Hartley explains.

3. He sounds like that guy in accounting

If your date is talking to you like you’re someone at the office — meaning the pace is quick and the level of his voice is rather strong — “he’s probably just trying to keep it to friend level,” Hartley says. With time, you might notice a change — after all, he just might want to keep it “professional” on the first date or two while he gets to know you — but if it remains this way after a few dates, cut your losses.

4. He stares at your mouth

When a guy focuses on your lips, what he’s really trying to do is avoid eye contact, Hartley explains. “If he’s avoiding eye contact, you can pretty safely assume he’s not into you,” he asserts. If your date fixes his gaze below your face, he’s probably interested in you, but perhaps not for a long-term relationship, if you know what we mean…

5. He’s out of sync with your body language

When a guy is romantically interested in you, he will mimic your body language, so if he doesn’t copy you, gesture for gesture, odds are he isn’t smitten, Hartley says. To test the waters, try leaning in closer to your date, using your hands to emphasize what you’re saying. If your guy does the same, it’s a great sign. But if he keeps his hands still, pulls away or takes a step backwards, he may be unavailable or just plain not interested.

Wise Words About Love

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something and wishing you hadn't or saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do they might break your heart... but if you don't you might break theirs.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that person was too afraid to let you? Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much... for fear that the other person does not care as much, or at all.

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid...afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie... the thing we fear grows stronger.

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have, or could have had. No one waits forever...
What would you do…?
What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?
What would you do if you best friend died tomorrow and you never got the chance to tell them how you felt?
What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them?
What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?

When you love someone say it. Say it loud. Say it right away, or the moment just passes you by and you may never get the chance again.

People live, but people die.

Something Every Woman Should Know About Man

• If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.  If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
• Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
• Allow your intuition to save you from heartache.
• Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be
• Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
• If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
• Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
• Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
• The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
• If something bothers you, speak up.
• You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
• Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or has a better job.
• Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
• Never let a man define who you are.
• Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
• A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
• All men are NOT dogs.
• You should not be the one doing all the bending... compromise is a two way street.
• You need time to heal between relationships... There is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
• You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
• A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimentary... Not supplementary.
• Dating is fun... Even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
• When a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
• Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

Share this with other women and men just so they know... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her/his choices, and another woman prepare, and a man aware.